InsomniaI lay in bed at night and day dream up a world where you and I are together and all of our problems magically disappear with our first kiss and we live happily ever after. And then, like the brat that you are, you burst my "happily ever after" like a bubble with harsh words and hateful actions, like refusing to speak to me, "I dont love you's," and so many seeds of jealousy planted it should be called a garden....and this is why I cant sleep.
How Does It Feel?How could you do that?Just throw me awayover a few hoursYou took away everythingEverything Ive been dreaming ofEverything Ive been living forYou took away every reason I had to get out of bedSeeing you for the first timeour first kissknowing how your hand feels in mineDoes my body fit together with yours like lost puzzle pieces, finally found?Ill never know now..Ill never get to look into your eyes and see what lies insideIll never know what your breathing sounds likeIll never know how soft your skin isWere your kisses full of love?Would your embrace take away all my problems?If you whispered to me, would it soothe my soul?Next to you, would I have finally found peace?Now I will never know....how it feels....to really be loved by you.
My FantasyIt doesn't feel like were not together anymoreit feels more like..when we first got interested in each othermy relentless flirting and charmand you eating it up even though you know its badI've missed that little smirk on your facethe evil glint in your starewhen I catch you off guard with a sly commentand you love it and hate me because you love ityou aren't so defensiveand so much more willing to just hang out with mewere finally catching up on our moviesyou actually stay up and wait on melike you value your time with meyou can say its not happening and that you don't love me all you wantin my perfect little fantasy its just a frontyou trying to protect yourself from some unseen danger I may still possessbut you're falling back in love with me all over againyou're trying so hard not to but you know it feels good and you've missed it so muchIve missed it toowhen hanging out with me was a prioritynot a "ill squeeze you in in the next 2 weeks"and still blow me off
Emotional Roller CoasterMy emotions are out of controlI don't understand them anymoreAnd I don't know where this is coming fromI'm so angryAngry that you would just leave without fightingWithout really talking to meWithout giving me a fair chanceWithout telling me what was really wrongI hate you so muchFor lying to meFor letting other people touch youFor denying me the opportunity to touch youFor leaving me before you could experience the real meI am depressedBecause I love you so fucking muchBecause everything is fixable and I wasn't given any time to fix itBecause I miss youBecause you don't miss meYou used to brighten up my lifeThe one thing I looked forward to every daySomething beautiful and pure, inside and outSomeone I really felt I could trust my heart toBecause it would fly out of my chest and into your arms if it couldNow you're the sinking feeling in my stomach,the horrible ache in my heart,the anger coursing through my bodythe tears that run down my faceand every labored